I wanna be a field day for the Sundays so they can fuck up my life
Embarass my wife, and leave a bad taste
That striped toothpaste can't remove on Monday mornings

I wanna be a target for the dailies so they can show
Pictures of me with a nude on page three, so lacking in taste
Touched up near the waist, looking as limp as Monday morning
Touched up near the waist, looking as limp as Monday morning