Just give me one more sniffle
Another sniffle of that dope (2x)
I'll catch a cow like a cowboy
And throw a bull without a rope

Doggone, I've got more money
Than Henry Ford or John D. ever had (2x)
I bit a dog last Monday
And forty doggone dogs went mad

Feel like a fightin' rooster
Feel better than I ever felt (2x)
Got double pneumonia
And still I think I got the best health

Say, Sam
Go get my airplane and drive it up to my door
Oh, Sam, go get my airplane
And driii-ve it to my door
I think I'll fly to London
These monkey men makes mama sore

The president sent for me
The Prince of Wales is on my trail (2x)
They worry me so much
I'll take another sniff and put them both in jail