Hello, I'm Harry
I've had women, I've had germs
They're eerie, wild and wailing
And seductive in small doses

Only one way
Only one way
Why can't we take a couple of tablets?

Hello, I'm Harry
Did you receive the letter sent?
The check enclosed, the negatives
Now here's some headlines, current and sensible

Moscow's in Ayrshire
What's the problem?
Should I throw my tammy in the ring
And run for president?
Oh, it's farmed out
Oh, I'm penned in
Oh, I'm left to no doubt
I'm happy alone
Yeah, I'm happy alone

You want me, you want me, do I?
Arsenic be judge, gin be jury

The chocolate's watching
The cuckoos are clocking me
They leave me alone in my sulk
Stalking a beautiful girl in a rural spot
It gets larger
As she gets nearer

There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, only one way
There's only one way, the rest is
Chemistry