Two fart jokes for the punters and one smart one for the crits
Don't Get stuck with washing costumes and the other boring bits
Then sit back and eat your breakfast right off that hooker's tits
Two fart jokes for the punters and one smart one for the crits!

Oh good another rock star has just been discovered dead
"There's a lyric in it somewhere" The manager's rung and said
Get more pissed than your audience and then jump on their heads
Two fart jokes for the punters and one smart one for the crits!

Wait for the latest producer to create the bleeps and blurps
That nowadays is our music, then scream "fuck" till it hurts
Thank god that recording's over... muso's are fucking jerks
Two fart jokes for the punters and one smart one for the crits!

Stuck for a lyric? Put "cunt" in / Stuck for a dance move? Jump.
Stuck for a target? Ray Martin, Stuck for a ....ummm... ahhh.. Cunt.
It's as easy as critics say: That's why they're not out the front.