Dan and Lisa, hi
We kind of know you guys
But you still might wonder why we're here

You see we're certified appointed fans
Of this thing called marriage, and
We've got a short list of the facts
You'll need

Don't say it's okay then go to sleep mad
Don't act like the other doesn't know how to drive
Patience is a virtue best shared with a spouse
And remember love's a verb
And love can be eternity

Dan, when you're surrounded by nothing
In a pitch meeting
Think of your love for Lisa on this day

And Lisa, when you're surrounded by debt
Trapped on a cellphone
Think of your love for Dan on this day

So, Dan and Lisa, bye
We hardly know you guys
But we're excited for you still, it's true

Though there's more we could report
Our time on earth is short
So let's keep it to the facts and review

Don't say it's okay then go to sleep mad
Don't act like the other doesn't know how to drive
Patience is a virtue best shared with a spouse
And remember love's a verb
And love can be eternity, Dan and Lisa