I'm a whore for Dumbledore
I'm a whore for Dumbledore

I'd like to have a couple friends
But they won't understand me
'Cause I just keep hitting them
And I'd like to stroll around the grounds
But I don't have any legs
With which to move around
And I'd like to ride a broomstick
But I'm a stationary pony
With this one awful trick

Forgive me when I beat you
This isn't how I'd treat you
If Dumbledore had made me
Just a bit less crazy

I'm a whore for Dumbledore
I'm a whore for Dumbledore

I'd like to join you in Hogsmeade
Instead of spending all my time
With birds and weeds
And I'd like to find an entwife too
Maybe have a couple saplings
And raise them strong and true
But Dumbledore had other plans
Like to guard some stupid passage
With the swinging of my branches

Forgive me when I beat you
This isn't how I'd treat you
If Dumbledore had made me
Just a bit less crazy

I'm a whore for Dumbledore
I'm a whore for Dumbledore