My mother was a prostitute
My father was a thief
My auntie ran a brothel
It gave cheap relief
Crime, crime
Crime doesn't pay

And my sister worked in peep shows
Carrots between cheeks
My brother pimped for call girls
Fostered their deceits
Crime, crime doesn't pay
Except when the debt collector needs to be paid

My nephew was a rent boy
Dress-sense made me weep
And my niece clipped in Soho
Her lies defied belief
Crime, crime, crime doesn't pay
Except when the debt collector needs to be paid
Crime, crime, crime doesn't pay