Christmas is killing me
And everyone is so happy
Christmas is killing me this year

I don't mean to bring you down
You're all dolled up and out about town
I just don't have that Christmas spirit
I hate the songs, don't wanna hear it
And everywhere you go's an auto-tuned version of ho, ho, ho
And Jingle Bells
And the street smells like piss, not candy canes

Christmas is killing me
And everyone is so happy
Christmas is killing me this year

I don't wanna be a Grinch
Been feeling like him ever since
I wrote that note to Santa Claus
And he didn't give me what I want
For everyone to get along
Peace on Earth, but he got it wrong
He bought me stuff off Amazon
I hate this time of year

Christmas is killing me
And everyone is so happy
Christmas is killing me this year

All the kids are staying up all night
Up all night, up all night
All the kids just want their toys
All their brand new shiny toys
All the parents gouging out their eyes
Ow
They just wanna stop the noise

Christmas is killing me
And everyone is so happy
Christmas is killing me
No, my name is not Cindy
Christmas is killing me
Someone stop Mariah Carey
Christmas is killing me this year