jewel theives, jewel thieves
leave fingerprints on everything
jewel theives, jewel thieves
leave fingerprints on everything
but around here, around here,
we don't dust for fingerprints.

snake oil peddlers, snake oil peddlers,
we can spot 'em half a mile away
snake oil peddlers,
we can spot 'em half a mile away
but these days, these days,
we drink a lot of snake oil.

adulterers, adulterers,
always give themselves away
adulterers, adulterers,
always give themselves away
but down here, around here
where the moose run wild,
and you can't think clearly
we let 'em off pretty easy.