The creature from the black lagoon
He sits inside her warm, wet womb
He says, "Mirror, mirror, tell me truly:
Is my hair dank and unruly?"

Down and down and down I go ]
When love goes down the drain ]
Down and down and down I go ]
When love goes down the drain ] (Chorus)

The monster from way out in space
He tears his way up to her face
He says, "Mirror, mirror, be real candid:
Does my face need to be sanded?"

(Chorus)

The beasty from the foulest end
He slips around the toilet bend
He says, "Is this how one ages, ergo,
Does it happen to all Virgos?"

(Chorus)