I'm going pissed to church and sing
The Russian national hymn
I like to fart in libraries
And do it with a grin
I fuck, fuck, fuck my best friend's girl
And tell him she's a slag
And in a crowded aeroplane
I love to use a bag

I'm mean, I'm bad, I lie to you
I never tell the truth
Set fire to your bed at night
And shit into your boot

So if you ever should think for yourself
How nice it would be to be, oh, so nice
Rip off your sister's teddy-bear
STAY RUDE, that's my advice

Selling dope to teenage kids
Is the biggest fun
The money I get out of it
Enough to buy a gun
I steal old ladies' handbags
And I drink you last beer
I nick my boss's Jaguar
And sell it much too dear

I'm mean, I'm bad, I lie to you
I never tell the truth
Set fire to your bed at night
And shit into your boot

So if you ever should think for yourself
How nice it would be to be, oh, so nice
Rip off your sister's teddy-bear
STAY RUDE, that's my advice