he speaks as sweetly as he can
but words do not enthrall her
they dance around the washing-pan
the collar and the garter

he tartly starts up repartee
but her retorts are smarter
she will not name a wedding day
the garter and the collar

so to and fro, and so they dance
the collar and the garter

he swears, if he should lose his love
then love will gain a martyr
they part, and that's the story of
the garter and the collar

he keeps his braggadocio
through years of fall and squalor
and toasts the maid who loved him so
the collar and the garter