I don't need a crystal ball
To tell me that I'll be
Dead from liver failure
Just wait around and see
Don't need acupuncture
To rid me of my pain
I've got pharmaceuticals
And no plans to abstain

'Cuz I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're selling
'Cuz I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're selling

I don't need confession
To absolve me of my sins
They're as much a part of me
As a fish is to his fins
I don't need the government
Or a social safety net
That ponzi scheme will crash someday
If it hasn't started yet

And I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're selling
And I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're selling

If I come across
As if I am complaining
It's cuz you're pissing down my back
And you're telling me it's raining
Maybe you believe the bullshit
Or maybe you're just lying
But I ain't buying

I don't need conspiracies or ufology
To distract me from my happy life of mediocrity
I've got a labradoodle
And I've got the gift of song
And when that's not enough
I take a ripper off my bong

And I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're selling
I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're selling
I ain't buying
I ain't buying what you're sellin