I sit alone looking in the mirror
I wish to god I was Craig Kilborn
I wanna I wanna look like him
I wanna I wanna sass like him

Cuz everybody knows he gets all the girls
and everybody knows he has the best hair in the world, in the world

A Whitney Brown A whitney Brown, Yea he's pretty cool
and that sexy sexy Beth chick
she makes me drool GO, but craig
Makes Ted Koppel look like a pansy
Jeanine Garfolo wants his weanie

Don't ever go and cut your hair! Don't ever cut your hair!
Fla na na na na na