When I first saw your face, it turned my whole world upside-down
You put my heart into a headlock and through it on the ground
You stood, stomped stepped on it and kicked it all around
Like some empty can of Miller or some mangy blue-tick hound.

Yeah but a rolling heart gathers no moss, only shit and sticks and stones
So I left those days behind me, and I struck out on my own
Now it's three o'clock in the morning and you call me on the phone
You say your life has gone to horseshit and you wanna come back home ...

Well if you're thinkin' 'bout comin' down,
Better think again, better look around,
Don't go tryin' to mess with my head,
'Cause I got myself a gun and I'm gonna shoot you dead.

See, I got myself another but she ain't nothin' like you, dear
She don't feel the need to slap me or stick pencils in my ear
So what's she have that you ain't got to spur this little tryst?
Well there's sanity for starters, oh hell, I'll just make a list.

And, yeah, I'm getting married, so just let me clear the air
Hell no, you're not invited, but I know that you don't care
And you'll be there with guns and goofy ribbons in your hair
So I made me a big ol' sign says: "Crazy, jilted hag! Beware!"

So if you're thinkin' 'bout comin' down,
Better think again, better look around,
Don't go tryin' to mess with my head,
'Cause I got myself a gun and I'm gonna shoot you dead.

Ah ... shoot her dead, Mike ...

So you think I'm over-reacting, you think I've gone too far,
Well that's something I considered, 'til you tied yourself to my car
I still see you in my rear-view mirror, your hands and face all scarred
And it was just then that I realized what a loon you really are.

So, if you're thinkin' 'bout comin' down,
Better think again, better look around,
Don't go tryin' to mess with my head,
'Cause I got myself a gun and I'm gonna shoot you dead.

Yeah, if you're thinkin' 'bout comin' down,
Better think again, better look around,
Don't go tryin' to mess with my head,
'Cause I got myself a gun and I'm gonna shoot you dead.

I got myself a gun ...