I got a twenty sider on call
dressed up and ready to roll
I got the real world blinded
dressed up and ready to roll

Midnight, torchlight down in the haunted cave.
Get some platinum the D.M. will turn the page.

Check out my thief he's got the black shield
dressed up and ready to roll
Check out my sickly cave tan
dressed up and ready to roll

Lawful, evil a moral catastrophe
Half-orc, full-dork; the myth and reality

We may not know any girls
But we got graph paper guiding our way
We got confusion, delusion
And all of Friday night to kill.

Pick up the phone the pizza's still late dressed up and ready to roll
Pick up from where your mule died dressed up and ready to roll

That was by far the best time that we ever had.
That was by far the best time that we ever had.

Get to the tavern have a few beers
dressed up and ready to roll
Pick up and Elvin bar whore
dressed up and ready to roll