I make a date for golf
And you can bet your life it rains
I try to throw a party
And the guy upstairs complains
I guess I'll go through life
Just catching colds and missing trains
Everything happens to me

I never miss a thing
I've had the measles and the mumps
Every time I play an ace
My partner always trumps
I guess I'm just a fool
Who never looks before she jumps
Everything happens to me

At first my heart thought
You could break this jinx for me
That love would turn the trick to end despair
But now I just can't fool
This head that thinks for me
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air

I've telegraphed and phoned
I sent an airmail special, too
Your answer was goodbye
And there was even postage due
I fell in love just once
And then it had to be with you
Everything happens to me

At first my heart thought
You could break this jinx for me
That love would turn the trick to end despair
But now I just can't fool
This head that thinks for me
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air

I've telegraphed and phoned
I sent an airmail special, too
Your answer was goodbye
And there was even postage due
I fell in love just once
And then it had to be with you
Everything happens to me