Masked and dressed in black
You scramble over rooftops
Carrying a bag – bag marked SWAG
You’re the best jewel thief in the world

Vigilance is lax
Security complacent
Adjacent to the gem, the diadem, the pearl
Is the best jewel thief in the world

Watch your legend grow
The rooftops are for dreamers
You strike and then return Lucerne–Heathrow
The best jewel thief in the world

Down below, down below
What do any of those losers know?
Down below, down below
What do any of those assholes know?

Even so, even so
Be a Buddhist boy and let it go
Even so, even so
Be a Catholic boy and let it go

You’re the best jewel thief in the world

Sirens moan and drone. They groan
But Interpol can’t catch you
Their cameras only show a screen of snow
Ergo, you’re the best jewel thief in the world

Down below, down below
What do any of those losers know?
Down below, down below
What do any of those assholes know?

Even so, even so
Be a Buddhist boy and let it go
Even so, even so
Be a Catholic boy and let it go

You’re the best jewel thief in the world

Nimble as a cat
They hope your luck deserts you
They’re sharpening their knives
But you’ve nine lives
You’re the best jewel thief in the world

Watch your legend grow
Watch your legend grow
Watch your legend grow
You’re the best jewel thief in the world