I had a pet lizard named George
He was cool, but he made me really bored
So I gave him to my mom and she loves him very much
Because animals are better than people

They try to cancel me, cancel me
Bother me, bother me
Stop bothering me, I don't even like my job

Karens, shut the fuck up
Vegans, shut the fuck up
Babies, shut the fuck up
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up
Putin, shut the fuck up
War, shut the fuck up
Dinosaurs, shut the fuck up
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up
Traffic, shut the fuck up
People, shut the fuck up
Groceries, shut the fuck up
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up

My therapist says I need help
'Cause my best friend is an elf on the shelf
He's got dietary needs, and he scares me when I sleep
That's why Amazon should be illegal

They try to cancel me, cancel me
Bother me, bother me
Stop bothering me, I am working really hard

DJs, shut the fuck up
Paintings, shut the fuck up
Taxes, shut the fuck up
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up
Email, shut the fuck up
French people, shut ze fuck up
New years, shut the fuck up
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up
Molecules, shut the fuck up
Golf, shut the fuck up
Bulldogs, just kidding, I love you
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up

Okay, time for the PSA
Dogs are good
People are bad
Dogs good, people bad
I said, dogs good, people bad
Shut your mouth, don't be mad
It's the truth