Who is the redhead Hollywood starlet
Living a life that's consequence-free?
Who keeps tequila in the Mercedes?
Everyone knows it's Lindsay

Who hasn't made a good flick since Mean Girls?
Who's making Paris and Britney look sane?
Whose room in rehab has a bartender?
Everyone knows it's Lindsay

And Lindsay has bloodshot eyes
Give Lindsay some Biggie fries
'Cause Lindsay has toothpick thighs
And a spoon up her nose…

Who took a spin when she had been drinking?
Who had a pocket filled with cocaine?
Who's headed for some time in the pokey?
Everyone knows it's Lindsay
Who maybe should have hired a driver?
Everyone knows it's Lindsay