I've got the perfect bedroom
I've got the perfect bed
I've got a purple phone with the curly cord right beside my head
I've got a lava lamp and boy-band posters on the wall
I've got a beanbag chair, and I've got a disco ball
I've got my glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling
I've got my mood ring that tells me how I'm feeling
I've got a TV built in VHS

I love my bedroom, it's the best
The only problem is
I'm in a zoo on the bug-people planet
Zoo on the bug-people planet

Every day, when the Sun comes up
The bug people come and look at me
They let the zoo members come in first
Then the older bugs get in for free
They watch me through my boy-band posters
Beady eyes all in a row
Then they sit on bleachers while I use the toilet
When I flush, they clap like it's the dolphin show

I love my perfect bedroom
And I know it's an artificial human habit-habit-habitat
In a cave on the bug-people planet-planet-planet that
Made a room for me, I've never felt so free

There's a bug who always protests
I can tell he's got a big heart
Once, a baby fell in my room
And they shot me with a tranquilizer dart
Now, I don't have a lot of movies
A League of Their Own is the only one
And they couldn't get a real copy
So they had to make a bug-people one

There's no crying in Earth-ball!
I think they did a really good job

Every night, when the bugs go home
I'm left in my room and I'm all alone
I stare at the stars and think I might faint
And that's when they bring me a potential mate

Ah! Hi, I'm Alan, haha
Not quite sure how I got here, but I, uh, I think they want us to reproduce
No, no
Totally, I'm not ready, either
Uh, we'll get to know each other first, then reproduce
Not interested
Makes sense, well, uh, it was nice meetin' ya
Oh, here comes the claw, ah! Well, we tried, buddy, haha
What now? A life of luxury in the royal palace?

I love my perfect bedroom
And I know it's an artificial human habit-habit-habitat (artificial habitat)
In a cave on the bug-people planet-planet-planet that
Made a room for me, I've never felt so free