Something strange is going on
And you're in the middle
I'll do anything to solve the riddle
I've got a city editor
Put me on a deadline
If I don't come through
I'm on the breadline

I'll invade your privacy
Please don't take it personally

I'm oh so sorry
But the reader's got a right to know
You're gonna help the circulation grow
When I get the story right
I'll be queen of the publication

I've got a hidden camera
A shadow on your tail
And I'm tape recording every detail
All the walls have ears tonight
They're listening in case you might
Talk in your sleep

I'm oh so sorry
But the reader's got a right to know
You're gonna help the circulation grow
When I get the story right
I'll be queen of the publication

In every supermarket checkout line
They'll be staring at your face
Make you a legend in your own time
Give you triple column space
When I get the story right
I'll be queen
I'll be queen
I'll be queen

I'm oh so sorry
But the reader's got a right to know
You're gonna help the circulation grow
When I get the story right
I'll be queen of the publication