Well, I was playin' the pinball prayin' for a ten ball
A cussin' that ole machine
With a couple of girls a hangin' on my back
Then the phone started ringin' and Moe started screamin'
Hey Joe, it's your old lady and she's mad
She let her fingers do the walkin' till she's found out where you're at.

And she said tell ole I ain't here he better get on home
Or else he's gonna find me and the baby gone
If I have to come down after him he's gonna wish he'd come to the phone
So tell ole I ain't here he better get on home.

Well, the good Lard knows I love her but she don't understand
Just how much I love this ole honky tonk atmosphere
But when the telephone starts to ringin' it scares the hell right out of her man
And I holler out loud if that's for me Moe tell her I ain't here.

But she said tell ole I ain't here he better get on home
Or else he's gonna find me and the baby gone
If I have to come down after him he's gonna wish he'd come to the phone
So tell ole I ain't here he better get on home.
So tell ole I ain't here he better get on home.