How lovely to sit here in the shade
With none of the woes of man and maid
I'm glad I'm not young anymore

The rivals that don't exist at all
The feeling you're only two feet tall
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore

No more confusion
No morning after sunrise
No self delusion
That when you're telling those lies, she isn't wise

And even if love comes through the door
The kind that goes on forevermore
Forevermore is shorter than before
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore

No more frustration
No star crossed lover am I
No aggravation just one reluctant reply
Lady, bye, bye

The fountain of youth is as dull as paint
Methuselah is my patron saint
I've never been so comfortable before
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore