He took nobody there with him
And he'll take nobody back
He drinks his herbal remedy
And tucks his stomach fat
He wanders up the hallways
Just before his show, he
Sees the newlyweds kiss
Eyes the bouquet rose

He'll play the chords and sing
Despite despondent mind
Come heartache or hangups, he's your guy

Wedding singer, whatcha gonna do?
Wedding's over, who'll go home with you?
Wedding singer, looks like you're not who you think you are

He finds the buffet empty
The chicken's cold and gray
The dirty chocolate fountain
The half-price potpourri
He mixes hooch and liquor
And grows his lonely grin, he's
A soft soul in decline
He's a Frenchman in Berlin

He whispers to himself
As he's chewing on a bun
I'll always be a bridesmaid
And I'll never take one home

Wedding singer, whatcha gonna do?
Wedding's over, who'll go home with you?
Wedding singer, looks like you're not who you think you are

I'd like to welcome to the stage, Mister Misery
He's not as bad as he might seem
He's just a bird without a tree
A player without a team
And just like all of us, he learns
That life's adjusting dreams

Wedding singer, whatcha gonna do?
(It's all about adjusting your dreams)
Wedding's over, who'll go home with you?
(No-one, that's my guess)
Wedding singer, looks like you're not who you think you are