I've got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry
Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime
Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires
And I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar

White chalk outline, caution tape and flashing lights
Let me tell you 'bout the night I died
I pulled up to the party, wide-eyed, thinking that I had arrived
Eating all my innocence in a cherry pie
Now you'd never believe we're

Barbies, do it in the bathroom
Werewolves on the hunt, it's not even a full Moon
Superman, he don't have superpowers
Just liquid courage and a little white powder

I've got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry
Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime
Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires
And I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar

Mary had a little crush, but now her heart is broke
Said he was a gentleman, but now he's just a ghost
Leaned in, kissed her neck and said: No one has to know
But he told everyone he knows, now Mary's just a joke

Prince Charming is just a frog in disguise
Who gets a lot of Botox and memorizes his lines
Even villains look good in a suit and tie
If they have to say it, well
They're probably not a good guy

I've got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry
Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime
Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires
And I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar

Glitter, spandex, porcelain, plastic
Odd revenge, but make it romantic
Why's the ending have to be tragic?
Well, that's how you make Hollywood magic

I've got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry

Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime
Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires
And I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar
Yeah, I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a li-li-li-liar
Yeah, I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar