Take off your shoes, step right this way
There's no need to panic, just be very afraid
We are the knee-jerk Gestapo, too little too late
We are the window dressing for your Draconian state

We are the Mall Cops of Freedom, so do as we say
We are here to protect you, you are here to obey
The airport Stasis, the TSA
We are the hall monitors for the USA

Step away from the curtain, there is nothing to see
No corporate masters, no hucksters of greed
We are here to distract you from your real enemies
While their fleecing your pockets for their insatiable greed

We'll strip-search your Grandmas, take their lotions away
You look like al-Qaida with moisture grenades
We'll teach you submission the American way
Everyone's suspect so all of you pay

Surrender that soda, give up your pomade
If there's more than 3 ounces there'll be hell to pay
We told you once, don't make us say it again
We're here to protect you, you're here to obey

You're here to obey
The TSA
You're here to obey
Be very afraid