It's been a real long three-hundred and thirty-five days
And the last time, it wasn't good anyway
I'm so lonely, lonely with a capital H
If you know what I mean, I've been sitting on the washing machine

Ain't nobody's tool up in my shed
Ain't nobody's boots under my bed
Ain't nobody's truck up in my drive
For a late night call, for a real good time
Ain't no new notches on my belt
And I'm tired of keepin' my hands to myself
911, it's officially a cry for help
Y'all, I'm going through a dry spell, yep

So, tell me, what's a self-respectin' girl to do?
I got the bacon, and no one to bring it home to
It's a drought out here, waitin' on a storm
I think it's time for me to take the bull by the horns

Ain't nobody's tool up in my shed
Ain't nobody's boots under my bed
Ain't nobody's truck up in my drive
For a late night call, for a real good time
Ain't no new notches on my belt
And I'm tired of keepin' my hands to myself
911, it's officially a cry for help
Y'all, I'm going through a dry spell, yep
Ain't nobody's tool up in my shed
Ain't nobody's boots under my bed
Ain't nobody's truck up in my drive
For a late night call, for a real good time
Ain't nobody to roll with in the hay
And nobody but the chickens are gettin' laid
911, it's officially a cry for help
Y'all, I'm going through a dry spell, yep