You' braggin all about the things you can do
Every time you make a pitch
If you're so smart,
How come you ain't rich?
You claim to have picked every horse that won
'Cause you know just which is which
Yes, if you're so smart,
Tell me, how come you ain't rich?

Henry built the Ford and made his pile
Woolworth used his five and ten
Rockerfeller's wealth came from Standard Oil
And Waterman's came from a pen
You claim it all came from consultin' you
Isn't that a brand new switch?
If you're so smart,
How come you ain't rich?

Mention work and you go berserk
'Cause you hate to do a stitch
If you're so smart,
How come you ain't rich?
You're out for a ride on the road to fame
Yet you wind up in a ditch
Mmm-hmm - if you're so smart,
Tell me, how come you ain't rich?

Hershey started with a chocolate bar
Wrigley with a stick of gum
Planters took his peanuts and travelled far
Now tell me - what'you doin', chum?
I' been hearin' all about all your big ideas
Since you started. What's the hitch?
You never made ten dollars yet
You say you can balance the national debt
If you're so smart,
How come you ain't rich?