(Joe Perry)
Conflict of interest
You're Split right in two
Your convictions lie between
Your shadow and you
When I need help and I'm heading your way
Both of your halves turn the same shade of grey
Conflict of interest...

Here I am alone on the street
With hundreds of people whose eyes never meet
The looks that I get are to say
The least strange
This social disorder-some things never change.

Chorus:
Take a number
Get in line
Hurry up and take your time
Don't make waves you'll be just fine
Make sure your interests don't
conflict with mine

To my jaded eyes
Every day is the same
When you scream outrages all I say is tame
You stumble blindly I don't really care.
It's my street, too, so stay
Outta my hair
Conflict of Interest.