You're like a rolling stone on a treadmill
You're like a four-leaf clover on a battlefield
It wasn't easy with a real cool face
Like a big nose on a pretty face
You've got a ponytail of thinning hair
Send a get-well card that showed you cared
And I'm sending out a search party
It's like Jonestown all over again

Ups and downs and there you go
It's the highs and lows of being number one

Is that a highball in your Sprite can?
It's a forgotten name from a one night stand
Your chin's a bobby pin of a sewing machine
Your eyes are flickering like it's Halloween
I'm sending out my sympathies
It's like Jonestown all over again

Ups and downs and there you go
It's the highs and lows of being number one

Is that a doctor's note for a heartache?
Or a poisoned cup from your own P.A.?
It's like a compliment from your right hand
It's like Jonestown all over again

Ups and downs and there you go
It's the highs and lows of being number one

In the club it always hides the brick
The drums hide the fact that you can't sing

Ups and downs and there you go
It's the highs and lows of being number one