You hone in on every sin, except the ones in your control
But Barbara, we both know that's not how Jesus rolls
You're yellin' at other peoples' kids in the comments section freaking out
But Barbara, do you know where your kids are right now?

You spend every waking hour on your laptop playing God
But Barbara, oh Barbara, even God thinks this is odd

You spend so much time on Facebook, you can't see what's in your face
If you came up for air and took a rage break from the hate
You might notice that your husband's been out with the boys for days
Don't worry Barbara, I'm sure he isn't gay