I`ve got a paycheck in my front pocket,
A speeding ticket in my back pocket,
If I even things out, I might have enough to get drunk.

I`ve got a phone number, stuffed in my wallet,
I know I shouldn`t do it but I think I`m gonna call it,
And if I get nuthin`, that`s fine, cause nuthin`s what I got.

Brains, brains, you can`t kill a zombie with a wooden stake.
Brains, brains, any one could make the same mistake,
So go easy on the girl.
I just wanted what every pirate wants,
I got some booty now I`ll never get enough,
I just wanted, I just wanted . . . .

To sail, to pillage,
So pass the rum and draw your swords,
Let`s burn down, the village,
Then we`ll grab their boards and surf their girls away . . .

I`ve got a picture of a mermaid, hidden in a box,
A dollar fifty six and a dirty pair of socks,
An `X` on the map, if I don`t come back,
Here`s where you`ll find me.

Brains, brains . . .