Well, if the world's an oyster in your stew
You know you've got a hungry friend
Your favorite horse has turned to glue
Don't kid yourself about the end
Well now, if life ain't worth livin' and time ain't no fun
You better jump out the window and run
Trouble, trouble round your door
The stork has left your chimney bare
Your best friend thinks you're out to lunch
And satisfaction just ain't there
Well now, if Christmas comes and Santa's dead
A stocking covers up your head