This one time,
I was running through the fields
When I came across a dead guy
With a letter in his hand,
So I scanned it,
And though the grammar was okay,
There was such a lack of purpose
That it was difficult to care.

But anyway, hidden in the mess of letters lies the awful truth,
Yeah, that Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks.
Yeah, nothing in this life can take her common shame away,
Yeah, 'cause Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks.

The next day (about ten o'clock)
It was playing on my mind (well, I say it was)
So I edited it for context (good job)
Till there was nothing fit to print.

But anyway, hidden in the mess of letters lies the awful truth,
Yeah, that Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks.
Woah, but nothing in this life can take her common shame away,
Yeah, 'cause Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks.

Maybe it's an old cliché, but sometimes things are better left expected.
You let your manatee down and then you drown: that's just the way with nature.
I've been here once or twice before with better hair, and let me tell you,
Only the good die young, except for when they don't, it's not exactly fair.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share.