Wish I was a man on a western land.
I'd dig my spurs into the western sand.
I'd dig on the view across the big red sky.
Dig my ax into a pine and watch the chips fly.

I'm gonna go, this time I know,
city's got me feeling like a motherfuckah!
This one is it, after I quit,
I can't write a love song worth shit!

I wish I was a Viking in 1103.
I'd fuck up shit on the high cold sea.
Did you know that the Vikings were always ripped?
They kept a lot of drugs on their dragonships.

I wish I had a tape recorder.
I'd tape everything I ever said.
Nothing ever comes out right.