Slick Nick stole a reindeer from the Zoo
Fell down my chimney with a keg of brew
Put my dog out in the cold
Ripped off the candy from my socks
Smokin' coal and drinkin' Scotch

Slick Nick you devil you
(Devil you, devil you)
Slick Nick you devil you
(Devil you, devil you)

Dressed in red and overweight boot
Stole the TV and the stereo
And the toys
The toys were broken too

You devil you
Slick Nick you devil you

I saw Slick Nick fall over the X-mas tree
He was a Whole different man from
What mom and dad told me
Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes
Spray-painting a bad finger over the fireplace
Tatoos on his arms and knees
I never thought Santa Claus Would be such a sleaze ! But...

Slick Nick you devil you...

Cussin' and coppin' and playin' punk-rock
And every once in a while you'd just scratch your jock
Hey ! Slick Nick, where are my toys ?
You went drinking with the boys
You put Mad Dog in my sock
I wanted candy (x3)
Oh, Oh ! I thought you were my buddy and chum
But you're just a downtown bum
Instead of putting presents in front of my eyes
You just told me a bunch of lies...

Slick Nick you devil you...
Santa Claus... Huh !