When you can't get laid
Don't be afraid
You've got a backup plan
You've got a friend in hand
Your girlfriend's always there
And you've got a pair
It's anyone that you want
An imagined affair

When you're stuck at work
You find a place to jerk
Then when you sneak away
You're getting paid to play
And once you've got some spit
You're gonna Spank da Mime
Or you can rub your clit
Until it's magic time

When you're ready to beat your meat
All you need is some motion and heat
When you're ready to blow your crank
You know you've got to spank
You've got to Crank One Off