I left school and hit the high street, had my youth in 6 weeks flat
Topshop, doves and Glastonbury, learned to be a secretary.

Chorus:
If I can't have it, nobody can
You follow the instructions it's all part of the plan
When you start as you mean to go on

Lets get married, lets have children, split up when we're 22
Cut our losses, screw our bosses, get out while we're still young.

Repeat Chorus

Paradise often falls apart

Home improvements, for amusement, smash this place to smithereens,
Don't forget to pay the premiums, go abroad and leave the gas on.

Repeat Chorus

When you start as you mean to go on
When you start as you mean to go on