Stanley stole my shoelace and rubbed it in his armpit
And that's not all you know what else he did?
He took my mashed potatoes and he lumped 'em on his spoon
Then he threw 'em cross the room. He's not a nice kid

He never does his homework; I've never seen him read
He always takes my book bag and says its his
I know he is lying when he says he's smarter
Than my grandfather 'cause nobody is

He tried to grab my pencil and break it in two
So I filled his lunch box up with salt
And that's the reason I was sent to the office
As you can see it wasn't my fault