I wanna be a dog, wanna wag my tail,
Chase cars and knock over garbage cans,
Bite the man who brings the mail.

I wanna be a dog, wanna lie on the floor,
Chase squirrels and cats, get fed, get fat,
Chew your shoe and bark at the door.

I wanna be a dog, wanna dig big holes,
Sniff trees and ground and basset hounds
And pee on telephone poles.

I wanna be a dog, wanna drool all around,
Scratch fleas and ticks and run after sticks,
I just wanna be a hound.

I wanna be a dog, wanna roll in the dirt,
Wanna run in the street, get mud on my feet
And jump up onto your shirt.

I wanna have dog breath, wake the neighbors too.
I'll lick your hand, be the best friend to man;
I've got nothing better to do.

I wanna be a dog, I want my nose to be wet.
I've got a college degree now all I wanna be
Is somebody else's pet