Oh shit I'm drunk again
I have to find a taxi I cannot drive the van
Vodka and tequila helped me through the night
Don't know who I am something's disturbing my sight
I really should be at home but I can't remember where I live
Got sick all over my girlfriend and again I have to piss

Crawling home for the 5th time this week
My liver and my stomach are playing hide and seek
But I don't worry I'm happy when I drink
And I don't care if my friends say I stink

It's Saturday night I am in a fight
Someone took my girlfriend I had to set it right
Smashed the fucker's face with a bottle of gin
Showed him places of the bar where he never could have been
But he was not alone his friends came after me
Ran as fast as I could but now I'm dizzy on my knees

Crawling home for the 5th time this week
Lost 3 teeth abnd there's blood on my shirt
Some busted ribs a broken jaw
A guy with a baseball bat was the last thing I saw