You've got a mid-life crisis and a baby on the way
You've got a few more seconds left to really seize the day
When they're up, they're up and there is nothing left to see
To ease the blow, you might want to consider therapy

And now your time is running out
T-minus nine months, counting down
So tell me what do you do now?
This is what they warned you about

You've got a growing problem and an interested agency
Too bad that you believed he had a latex allergy
Something's cooking in your oven and you don't have a ring
But you know he's not a man, what are you expecting?

And now your freedom's running out
This is no time to fool around
That's how you got in trouble now
This is what they worried about

You never thought it
You never thought it
You never thought it through...
Well it can happen
Well it can happen
Well it happened to you...

And two hearts beating like two drums
The big one and the little one
So sad when they fuck up so young
What's it like to be knocked up?

This is what they
This is what they
This is what they warned you about