Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your shitty wee boat is a fucking joke
It's just the unwanted leftovers of a jobby tuggin' barge

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
You better give us all the money in your treasure chest
Or Kristof's gonna take a shit on your fucking lawn

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your poopdeck is a shithole and your rudder is crap
And your cannons are incapable of firing twenty feet

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your stupid navigator is an alcoholic
And all your crew look like lego bricks

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
Your shitty wee boat is a fucking joke
It's just the unwanted leftovers of a jobby tuggin' barge
Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks
Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks
You better give us all the money in your treasure chest
Or Kristof's gonna take a shit on your fucking lawn