I'm a friend of Mister Pastry
I'm a friend of Allen Jones
I'm a friend of Shirley Bassey
I'm a friend of your chromosomes

I'm a friend of Stuart Sutcliffe
I'm a friend of Michael Miles
I'm a friend of Jim Morrison
I'm a friend of Nobby Stiles

I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
I'm a friend of a friend but you don't know me
I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
If I come on the night, can I get in free?

I'm a friend of Egon Schiele
I'm a friend of Mister Spock
I'm a friend of Doctor Kildare
I'm a friend of the Woodentots

I'm a friend of Arthur Askey
I'm a friend of Freda Payne
I'm a friend of Danny Angel
I'm a friend of Big John Wayne

I'm a friend of Brian Inglis
I'm a friend of your dad's son
I'm a friend of Boris Karloff
I'm a friend of everyone