Chorus
The Toilet's Flooded, the Load Won't Fit
The Toilet's Flooded With the Great Big Shit
The Toilet's Flooded, the Load Won't Fit
The Toilet's Flooded With the Great Big Shit

There Was This Dude His Name Was Ted
He Just Stopped Over and He Said,
"I'd Go Outside If I Had to Pee
But I Got a Big Ole Doo-doo Inside of Me."
He Disappeared, But He Wasn't Gone Long
We Finished Lunch He Was Still in the John
We Didn't Have a Clue 'cause He Didn't Cut a Fart
But What He Left in My Bowl Was a Work of Art

Chorus

We All Went in to Take a Peek
What Happened Next Knocked Us Right Off Our Feet
It Jumped Out of the John, It Jumped Out of the Bowl
It Had no Morals, It Had no Soul
It Slimed Around Our Carpet Like a Mud-colored Slug
It Left a Foul-smelling Trail That Soiled the Rug
I Went to Get a Baseball Bat to Kill That Thing
But It Zapped Around the House Like Brown Lightning

Chorus

He Took a Record Dump Known Across the Nation
Now We Gotta Use the Service Station

Chorus