Substitute my gloom with happiness
Substitute my sickness with health
Substitute my enemies with real good friends
Morphine and chocolate are my substitutes
Are my substitutes

Morphine and chocolate can bring me up
Can warm my heart for me whenever I want it
And every once in a while when I stop and think
Morphine and chocolate are my substitutes
Are my substitutes

And you can say
Hey, we've really come a long way
And you can say
Hey, it can only be this way

You might be careful
It really hurts when it's real

You'll go down, down, down
Set the alarm clock, baby
Don't you miss the Sun?

You know, I'm feeling really warm hearted, baby
Don't you know I'm feeling like someone
I'm fearing for my life again
And I am fearing for my heart
Morphine and chocolate could never
Substitute my art

And that's real love, baby